We gathered at Ellen Bowes’ home and spent the vast majority of the time out on her deck. The weather was perfect and the mosquitos cooperated until it began to get dark. We talked of gardening, the numerous sandhill cranes that have been visiting the islands out in the river, the peregrine falcons behind the Jenkins’ property, and the critters that have been seen in the neighborhood. Linda also updated us on her recent trip to Alaska. Those members in attendance were Ellen Bowes, Kathy Day-Carey, Nancy French, Julie Howard, Linda Jenkins, and Jo Smith.
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| View from Ellen's deck |
During the meeting, we heard and talked about the sandhill cranes out on the river, I decided that I'd include this photo that I took of the cranes today (Saturday, 7/11). They were far away, and the lighting was poor, so the picture is also of poor quality.
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| Sandhill Cranes on an island in the Mississippi River |
Still Alice by Lisa Genova is a thoughtfully crafted, heartbreaking novel about the devastating effect Alzheimer's has on its victims and their families. Dr. Alice Howland was saddled with early-onset Alzheimer's Disease in mid-career, and it was especially devastating to her because so much of her identity was connected to her intellect and stellar memory.
The supporting cast around Alice could probably have been better developed, as her children were fairly one-dimensional people (having a baby, med school, auditioning for a play) and her conversations with them were about the one subject that defined each of them. We were never told what had made Lydia decide to go to college after so many conversations where she was adamantly opposed. The relationship between Alice and her husband, John, had a bit more scope. He waffled between wanting to do his best to be supportive, but also feeling that he needed to look after his own interests. So on one hand, he was a warm and loving partner who made her feel safe after she had soiled herself when she couldn’t find the bathroom; on the other, he is grieving the loss of Alice as he knew her and is presented as someone who is often impatient, angry, and frustrated. His practicality tended to overrule his emotions.
Genova did a good job of showing the devastation of Alzheimer’s but also the beauty in redefined relationships. The family’s varying responses to Alice's decline were believable, and the most touching parts of the book were the evolution of Alice's relationships with her husband and children as her disease progressed. The most dramatic change was her relationship with Lydia. Initially, Alice and Lydia were in conflict about Lydia’s choice to pursue an acting career rather than attend college. But it was Lydia’s acting that brought them closer together when reading scripts was easier for Alice to tackle than reading novels. It became something they could do together and bond over. And Lydia appreciated one skill that developed as Alice's language processing regressed.
As her ability to track what was said in complex conversations with many participants declined, Alice’s sensitivity to what wasn’t said, to body language and unspoken feelings, had heightened. She’d explained this phenomenon a couple of weeks ago to Lydia, who’d told her it was an enviable skill to have as an actor.
We all appreciated Alice’s poignant speech at the Dementia Care Conference. This is just an excerpt from the speech.
My yesterdays are disappearing, and my tomorrows are uncertain, so what do I live for? I live for each day. I live in the moment. Some tomorrow soon, I'll forget that I stood before you and gave this speech. But just because I'll forget it some tomorrow, doesn't mean that I didn't live every second of it today. I will forget today but that doesn't mean today doesn't matter.
It was a tad sad when Alice had been unable to find her pills; therefore, she would have to go through the end stage of Alzheimer’s that she had meticulously prepared to avert.
In the latter parts of her disease, it was sweet that she could still read emotion, even when understanding language was difficult for her.
Alice watched and listened and focused beyond the words the actress spoke. She saw her eyes become desperate, searching, pleading for truth. She saw them land softly and gratefully on it. Her voice felt at first tentative and scared. Slowly, and without getting louder, it grew more confident and then joyful, playing sometimes like a song. Her eyebrows and shoulders and hands softened and opened, asking for acceptance and offering forgiveness. Her voice and body created an energy that filled Alice and moved her to tears. She squeezed the beautiful baby in her lap and kissed his sweet-smelling head.
The actress stopped and came back into herself. She looked at Alice and waited.
“Okay, what do you feel?”
“I feel love. It’s about love.”
The actress squealed, rushed over to Alice, kissed her on the cheek, and smiled, every crease of her face delighted.
“Did I get it right?” asked Alice
“You did, Mom. You got it exactly right.”
We also talked about how prevalent it is for caregivers, family, and friends to talk about Alzheimer's patients in their presence. Despite the inability to communicate verbally, there is no reason to believe that such conversations aren't hurting the feelings of the loved one.
They talked about her as if she weren’t sitting in the wing chair, a few feet away. They talked about her, in front of her, as if she were deaf. They talked about her, in front of her, without including her, as if she had Alzheimer’s disease.
Still Alice was a difficult subject which was tackled in a compassionate and caring way. It gave the reader an idea of what it might be like to live with Alzheimer's Disease.
August meeting:
Book : The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown
Book : The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown
Location: Linda Jenkins
Date: Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Time: 6:30pm
Upcoming meetings:
September 10, 2015: Ruby by Cynthia Bond at Jo Smith's
October: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
November: Movie night to watch To Kill a Mockingbird ???
Books we've read so far:
January 2014 - Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
February 2014 - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
March 2014 - Life After Life by Kate Atkinson
April 2014 - The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie
May 2014 - The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
June 2014 - Breaking Free by Marilyn Sewell
July 2014 - The Orphan Train by Kristina Baker Kline
August 2014 - The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker
September 2014 - Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
October 2014 - The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
November 2014 - The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
December 2014 - No book. Holiday gathering.
January 2015 - No book. Watched The Book Thief
February 2015 - The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton
March 2015 - Empire of the Summer Moon by S.C. Gwynne
April 2015 - The Orchardist by Amanda Coplin
May 2015 - The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
March 2014 - Life After Life by Kate Atkinson
April 2014 - The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie
May 2014 - The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
June 2014 - Breaking Free by Marilyn Sewell
July 2014 - The Orphan Train by Kristina Baker Kline
August 2014 - The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker
September 2014 - Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
October 2014 - The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
November 2014 - The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
December 2014 - No book. Holiday gathering.
January 2015 - No book. Watched The Book Thief
February 2015 - The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton
March 2015 - Empire of the Summer Moon by S.C. Gwynne
April 2015 - The Orchardist by Amanda Coplin
May 2015 - The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
July 2015 - Still Alice by Lisa Genova
